The worst guilt to accept an unearned guilt.
Hindsight can be a wonderful thing, it can open your eyes to so many things you just could not see before. Once you have separated from a situation hindsight plays its part in unraveling the mysteries of the aftermath of emotionally apocalyptic events.
Guilt. What a loaded word. You can feel guilt and not know it. It can affect your behavior your emotional state and play like a virus in your mind, resulting in self punishment of the sub conscious.
The kind of guilt I have been experiencing is the type where I hurt someone I loved very deeply, to save them from more pain. To stop the madness.
Pretending I didn’t care whilst watching someone so close to me suffer as a result will always linger and never leave me. Did I do the right thing? Absolutely!
My penance for this has been harsh and unrelenting; now, I believe my punishment is over. It has been sufficient. I am now ready to move forward with my life, my conscience clean.
The thing about guilt, is that it is healthy but can become soul-destroying, dragging you down into a place that is very hard to get out of again. I do not want to live with it for the rest of my life, I want to learn and grow from the lessons I learnt.
The people that punish us the hardest are ourselves.